Monday, November 14, 2011

"One" guy at lunch

I was on vacation last week in the Great Northwest (specifically Portland and Seattle) and as much as we tried, Matt and I couldn't figure out a way to eat lunch remotely while we were on both sides of the country. We'll have to develop that technology in the near future. 

Hopefully Matt will let you in on what he did for lunch all last week. I know I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to find out.   

Anyway, I was back in the office today and to my surprise and dismay, Matt was out. Was this retribution for me abandoning him last week? I had no idea he was bailing out today and he KNOWS I need to be made aware of these things in advance. I won't be ignooooooorrrrred Matthew! 
I need time to mentally adjust to dining solo on a non Friday. I had an agenda we needed to review and instead, I was stuck with my own friggin thoughts. You son of a mutha f'er!

But I am a man with intestinal fortitude so I ventured on to Wegman's alone, ready to reunite with the big W for the first time in over ten days. It was an emotional and tearful reunion and I was welcomed back with both open arms and an open cash register. 

As I danced amongst the Asian buffet and twirled through the submarine line (don't you dare call it a hoagie) I was totally on point with what I was going to eat today:

3 golden barbecue wings - the color pulled me in
Ham, provolone, mystery cheese spread, mustard on a pretzel roll - did they read my diary?
Yukon Gold potato chips - because they are healthy  
Honest Tea - green tea with Maltese orange - green tea cancels out the wings    
Quick side note: I'm pretty sure I was caught taking a photo of my lunch by the guy parked next to me today and I'm pretty sure he assigned me the "creepy" label. The efforts I go through for you damn people.

I was thrilled with my lunch choices and was back in the "Wegman's Groove", as opposed to "Back in the New York Groove" by Ace Frehley - one of the worst songs ever recorded. Seriously, click the photo below and you'll agree:
Since I was dining "isole a l'automobile peu" (French for "looking like a moron dining in a little car") I had the radio cranked listening to Howard Stern interview Chris Martin from Coldplay. Stern is an incredibly polarizing figure but I am sure he will go down in history as one of the best interviewers of all time. He gets celebrities to let their guard down like no other and in doing so, humanizes them. I could listen to him all day.

Eating was complete, back to the grind and the remnants from lunch were left in my car so the wing smell could stay with me on the ride home. I survived the day once again.      

Check back tomorrow to see if Matt and I are headed down the path of divorce or if he really had a legitimate excuse for leaving me to fend for myself today.


1 comment:

  1. Please no stewing of Matthew's pet bunny!

    Detest didn't bother to listen!

    People do tend to look at you funny when you take pictures of your lunch...if anyone ever asks you could tell them it's to help with the post mortem if you should be killed after eating. Of course, then they'll back away and call the "Funny Farm" guys in white suits with strait jackets.

    Like your new blog...hysterically funnnnnneeeee!

    (don't like change much do you? also, don't guess you'll be tearing up your grassy two acres to plant wild flowers!)


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