Tuesday, January 17, 2012

TGAL: "Would You Do This?"

Hope you all had a good laugh listening to John rip on my very cool "Workout CD".

When I start looking like Tony Little (The pony tail guy who sells all the cheesy exercise equipment on HSN), you'll know what I'm talking about with having Paul Anka and Pitbull on the same CD!
Anyway, back to work after Monday off and unfortunately I was without my partner in crime for lunch. I could have gone out to lunch by myself, but I chose to stay indoors and visit the company cafeteria instead. Don't get me wrong, our cafeteria is not horrible, but it doesn't break up the day or make for any interesting conversations or walks for a chocolate bar in aisle 8 at Wegman's. Not only was the turkey on whole wheat a boring choice, but having to head right back to your desk to eat makes it harder then watching Dick Clark be a part of the 10 second countdown on "New Years Rockin Eve".
So to kick-off the week, you guys know how John and I love playing the "Would You?" game. So with that said ... John, would you:
1. Walk into the Men's bathroom and tap on the door of an occupied stall and ask "How much longer are you gonna be because I really have to go"?
This is an easy one.

I would do it for a large (I'm sorry, a Venti) Starbucks coffee and here's why.

The stalls at work do not allow the "user" to see who is outside the door. The only means of identifying the perpetrator is a view of their shoes. My shoes are so generic that I could easily slip away unidentified.

The best part of this would be the response indicating how much time is still needed. Do they say "Just a minute" or "Gimme five" or "Get the f out of here"? Any of those responses would be completely entertaining.        
2. Go to see a movie you have already seen, walk into a packed theater 5 mins after the movie started, go right up to the screen, turn to the audience and tell everyone the ending?
This one will require a significant amount of cash.

As I think it through, I imagine myself saying "Bruce Willis is really dead all along" or "Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze" and then the many hardcore psychotic moviegoers moving in for the kill.

Again, this would be really funny but difficult to escape from. Give me $1000 and a getaway vehicle and I'll do it.  
 3. Stand outside in the parking lot after work and hand out fliers that advertise a new car wash opening near your house?
This sounds easier than it is. Hand out a flyer and move on. But these are people I would see day in and day out and they would know me as the "car wash" guy. I instantly lose any credibility, not to mention the potential of getting nabbed by the long arm of the law; our building security team.

The last thing people want to deal with after a long day at work is someone selling them anything. So here are my demands:

1)Must at least have a coupon attached to the flyer - there needs to be some incentive
2)Guarantee me I won't be fired for solicitation
3)Give me $3500 and I'm in. That is a fair price for ruining all of the work relationships I've created.      

Tomorrow, I put Matt to the test.


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