Monday, December 12, 2011

Give me a coke and a slice

It was a different kind of lunch today. Matt was off and I had a half day at work. But have no fear, I still made it to Wegman's on my own.

Today's lunch needed to be portable as the plan was to eat on the way home. That eliminates anything requiring a fork or two hands. I was beyond hungry and craving carbs like a marathon runner so the decision was easy - three slices of pizza.

I could talk about pizza all day and night so sit back and get ready to read all about the history of the pizza pie. I kid. A few interesting pizza anecdotes did pop into my head today and thought I would share them with you because you need to know:

Ordering a pizza slice - A good debate can be had as to the proper way to order a cheese slice. Some will say "cheese slice please" and that would be fine ... but wrong. The correct way to order would be "plain slice please". That's how I've done it since the late 70's and it makes sense. All pizza has cheese so that assumption is already in place. I don't care if menus and labels at pizza joints say "cheese slice", you still don't say that when ordering.

How to eat - To fold or not to fold? Easy one - always fold. It is a more convenient way to hold the slice, especially when driving as I was today. Folding basically doubles up the cheese, sauce and bread in one bite. An explosion of heaven if you will. But most importantly, you look like an amateur if you don't fold; especially here in the Northeast US where pizza is sacred.

Best temp to eat pizza - I may be in the minority on this one, but my preference is to eat pizza that has already been cooked, cooled down and is only then briefly reheated. You get the crunch in the pizza without destroying the roof of your mouth from the cheese lava when you eat it right out of the oven. Also, I know it sounds all cool and college student-like to eat it cold or for breakfast; please don't, it tastes like crap that way and you know it.

Frozen pizza - NEVER. If you live in NJ or NY, you know there is a pizzeria within 5 miles of your home. Get on the phone, order, go pick it up and never think frozen again. Sacrilege.

Deep dish pizza - I throw up in my mouth a little just thinking of it. I had the authentic version once while in Chicago and never again.

Stuffed crust pizza - My kids love it and I want to eliminate their trust fund every time they say it. Totally unnecessary.  
So on my way home from work today, I folded my three slices like a champ and had a smile on my face the whole time. There really is no better food and compared to a lot of other nasty lunch options out there, it is quite healthy. C'mon, it's full of lycopenes and cheese is protein, right? Damn straight.                            


  1. "plain slice please"- correct

    fold - correct (beware of an overgreased slice, though, as the grease will gather and leak through the fold in the crust onto your tie)

    cold pizza sucks - correct (i will add that if you reheat your slice in the microwave, you should be deported. use the oven, that's what it's cooked in to begin with)

    frozen pizza sucks - correct

    deep dish - i disagree. a proper deep dish now and again is fine by me.

    stuffed crust - i disagree...sort of. if it comes from Pizza Hut, then it sucks. if it's made a a legit pizzaria, well there is nothing that isn't improved with the addition of more cheese.

    what's your take on cicilian?

  2. I go with the half fold. So the first 2/3's of the slice is open face and the last 1/3 is folded just enough to catch all the delicious left over grease.

    If it's extremely hot I'll go with the full fold to avoid the dreaded cheese lava burn.

  3. Rob - I am hot and cold with sicilian. Too bready for me usually and difficult to hold or even fold. Give it a C+.

    Mike - now you got me thinking. I may actually fold more like you suggest. Great call!

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