Friday, December 16, 2011

Matt's not so relaxing day off

I was looking to enjoy some of the holiday spirit this year so I took a day off from the usual rat race to go at my own pace and enjoy a Monday vacation day all to myself. I really don't like to interfere with my lunch routine with my buddy John, but there are some things that get in the way that ya need to take care of from time to time.

My set agenda would include running a few errands and maybe sneak in a short trip to the mall and do a lil Christmas shopping. I figured most people would be at work on a Monday at lunch time a few weeks from Christmas……Bad Move.

I started with my errands. Wanting to keep things in an upbeat and good mood, I went with the Sirius Radio Christmas Holiday channel. Ahhhhh Michael Buble, Tony Bennett and Nat King Cole know just how to put me in a good mood. But before I got too comfortable and put on a Christmas karaoke show in my car, my good mood hit a huge pothole…Mariah Carey and her forever popular “All I want for Christmas is yoouuuuuu” song comes on the radio. Ughh, Again with this song?
The royalties alone of that song will put her twins (who btw are named “Roc” and “Roe”) and her Grandkids kids through college nine times over. Unreal. I’d rather hear William Hung sing “She Bangs She Bangs” 20 times straight blasting in my ear.

First stop, the post office….
Our post office has a real small parking lot so it’s a lil tough to maneuver around. I pull into the lot and there it was right their smack in front of me, one of those drivers with their right turn blinker on that make it a point to hold up all the traffic behind them just to show they are waiting to pull into a parking spot. This is of course right after the really slow person leaving finds it in their heart to move a lil faster so that we can all move on with our day. Anyway, in a panic I take the “employee only” spot (Yeah, I know I shouldn’t have). I figured though what employee comes into work at 11am? they have to all be inside by now right?
Anyway, I finally get inside and the line is longer then the Target returns counter on 12/26. 35 minutes later I pull out of my “employee only” spot and ready to hit the mall.

Second and Final stop, The Mall…..
The mall was much worse then the post office experience just with a bigger parking lot.
Every parking aisle was filled with every Joe Schmo with the same flashing blinker (like the post office guy) letting me know “don’t even try it f’er” this spot is mine”. As they waited for the slow a$$ leaving the mall to pull out of their parking spot, I headed to the area of the lot to park 7 football fields away from the mall entrance just not to deal with the parking obsessed shoppers.

After finally parking in no mans land and dealing with the chaos at both locations, I decided that there a few things I never want to hear anyone ever say based on what I witnessed an hour into my joyous day off: “things are tight right now”, “I’m always broke”, “just living paycheck to paycheck”, “times are hard”, “there are no jobs”, “we are in a depression”, “retail sales are down”, etc, etc. When I hear that mentioned again I will say “Oh Yeah, you wanna go to the mall?”

Whew, writing this I feel like I went through it all over again…Anyway, the moral of the story is this….Let’s all just take a deep breath, embrace the holidays, don’t park in the “Employee Only” spot and do your shopping in September not December!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!


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