Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Introducing "Two Guys at Lunch"

Hi there, my name is John and welcome to the very first post from a brand new blog entitled "Two Guys at Lunch". 

Why the title you ask? It's simple really; Matt and I are co-workers who have been going to the same lunch spot for the past ten years and that hour is our most sacred of the day. Nothing will get in the way of us making it to Wegman's supermarket at 12:00 each day - we can often be seen trudging through the snow in the dead of winter out to our cars in the company parking lot. I'm pretty sure we are the butt of many jokes from others at work and that's fine, their asses weren't invited any way (two posterior references in one sentence, nice!). 

So if you made it this far, the next logical thought is "Wow John, so far it sounds riveting. Two guys that go out to lunch each day, tell me more, I'm on the edge of my friggin seat." Fair enough, let me provide you with some additional background.

Matt and I are both in our late thirties/early forties, are happily married (no, not to each other) and have children. While we both can claim to be in some pseudo version of a midlife crisis, this blog is not about us buying a sports car or having a sordid affair at a local motel. It's more of a career/life crisis that we share, trying to answer "What do we want to do when we grow up?"  

Matt spent a good time acting in his early twenties and can be seen in A Bronx Tale and Bonfire of the Vanities. I think he still wonders where those days went and how he ended up in the heart of the corporate world. I guess making money and family will force you to make those types of decisions. Matt will fill you in on more in a future post. 

I followed the life blue print from day one - graduate high school, go to college, find a secure job at a large company, put on my khakis each morning and play the role. While I appear to be your stereotypical "corporate guy" I feel far from it. My true passion is gardening and I've been writing a gardening blog for about two years now. It is my only opportunity for creative expression and without it, I'd be in the corner drooling.                             

Back to the lunch deal. It works like this: 

  • We leave the office pronto at 11:55 AM EST
  • The drive to lunch is our time to bitch and moan about the morning's absurdities
  • Our lunch spot, Wegman's, is a supermarket with unlimited lunch options. We attack those options each day with scientific precision and meet up again once we've paid for our food.
  • As we eat, topics can range from our failed workout routines, the benefits of Acai, our fantasy football teams or how annoying The Situation has become.
  • After lunch, we hit the aisles and shop a bit like two old ladies. We'll read the labels on protein powder as if we were Sly Stallone or we'll read the cereal boxes to make sure they have no high fructose corn syrup.
  • The drive back to work is where we practice our stand up routines and I'm fairly confident we are funny mutha f'ers. We plan to tape these routines and share with you in the future. As an example, we recently shared our vasectomy stories and our shared worries that the doctors were laughing at our cashew like "members". Yes, it goes there often.
  • We then return to the office, leave our souls with the security guards at the front desk and get back to being good company guys.     

I'm not sure where this blog will take us but I think we both need it to preserve our sanity and hopefully it will make you laugh your ass off. I realize we've proven nothing to you yet in terms of our humor or take on life, but I urge you to hang in there, I think you'll dig it.    

Again, welcome and we look forward to you coming back again.


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