Monday, September 16, 2013

Wegmans or Bust

John here ...

Wegmans is Disney World.

When we walk through the doors each afternoon at approximately 12:09 P.M., it feels like we've escaped to an imaginary world of culinary adventures. I swear to you, even the nastiest of business dudes has a smile on his face as he surveys what deliciousness is on tap for the day. At that moment, the outside world doesn't exist as it is all about eating and even some singing and dancing if you're in the mood. Matt has been known to grab a chef and polka with them.   

Nothing will get in the way of Matt and I finding our way to Wegmans for lunch. We found our way there right after Hurricane Sandy convinced that they would miraculously find power through a higher being in order to serve us. We have navigated snowstorms just to get a Cajun Kettle Salad with extra chicken. I'm sure even after Matt and I retire, we will find a way to meet up there as it has become a part of our DNA.

Which brings us to last week.

Actually, let me allow Matt to take us through it as it was another example of our determination to never eat lunch outside of the Bridgewater, NJ Wegmans.

Go on Matt ...

Thanks John ...

As we have mentioned in numerous posts in the past, John and I would rather have our pinkie toe clipped off then miss a lunch "date" together. Missing that moment at 11:55 A.M. at the office, when we both look at each other and say “You Ready?” is music to our ears.
It’s a moment that says it’s OK to say what you want and unload on anything that comes to mind without any need to self-edit. It’s a moment that feels free of any judgment or criticism. The floor is yours at that time, so use it or lose it.

This precious hour is used to update each other on what’s going on in each of our lives and any other burning "manly" topics that need to be addressed like “The Real Housewives of NJ”, “The Bachelor” or the last episode of “Snooki & JWOW”. Did you expect us to watch anything different? OK, John does watch “Homeland” and “American Horror Story” and I watch “Live with Kelly and Michael” but that’s a story for another post. 

This past week it rained like nobody’s business. I mean it friggin poured. Did that stop the dynamic duo? Ummm let me think ... ahhh no. As we were about to exit the building we stepped aside, looked at each other, muttered "You Ready?” and made the mad dash to my car.

Being the portly fellow that I am (a nice way of saying fat) you have to make sure your belt is extra tight or these suckers are falling to my ankles when any kind of running occurs. I tightened my belt and off we went.

Lets just say I felt like I was sprinting but it’s really just a lot of movement with not much progress. Speed never comes into the equation when your talking about me and running. On the flip side, John, Mr. Bruce Jenner, is running like he’s in the NYC marathon. He’s got the running thing down to a T. Perfect form, like watching a deer run.

Lucky Bast$#% he is. I on the other hand am dying with every breath hoping we don’t have to call an ambulance to pick me up.

I wanna eat before that happens.

The rain stops just as we get in the car. That’s just awesome. We are completely soaked. Keep in mind my clothes are heavy even when they are dry, but now they are dripping buckets of water, it feels like I’m carrying another person on my back. It’s hard being me.

It was so bad, here is a picture of me John took after we finally got to the car. I was drenched.

Lunch was it’s usual awesomeness discussing everything from fantasy sports to Howard Stern to what we wanna be when we grow up. Riveting stuff. This is what life is all about. Making time for the important stuff, family, friends, a 7 inch whole wheat sub loaded with cold cuts that could choke a horse and a zero calorie pomegranate drink. Hey I’m trying to eat healthy.

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