Cashier peer pressure

John here ...

I know that I have the maturity level of a 15 year old. There is nothing that can be done to change it so why bother fighting it? I can hide it well when the moment calls for it but just know it is simmering at the surface.

Case in point.

Matt and I were at lunch the other day and after stuffing our immature faces with sushi and sweet and sour chicken, we did some shopping/strolling around Wegmans before heading back to work.

We picked up a few things - Matt some newly designed dark chocolate bar with antioxidants and me some vitamin the all-knowing Dr. Oz suggested - and headed to the cashier.

Matt was first in line and was greeted with a friendly face as his purchases slid down the conveyor

The cashier then innocently asked Matt is he wanted to donate a dollar to "blank" charity. Without thinking much of it, he mutterred "Nah, I'm good."

I completely lost it. Giggling like a schoolboy.

"Nah I'm good" sounded to me like the cashier was offering him a dollar and he was turning it down. I don't know if anyone else would have even given this a second thought, but my inner 5th grader couldn't let it go.

But then it was my turn to receive the offer and I began to panic. What is the correct response? There was a large crowd behind and all around us and I didn't want to piss anyone off.

Very quickly, I ran through all of the possible responses to the charity request:

1)"No thank you" - simple enough but again, I am not being offered the money so this doesn't really apply.

2)"Oh, I've previously donated" - that's great and noble, but we're talking a dollar here.

3)"Um sure, I'll donate" - but now "they've" won. I am only doanting because of peer pressure and that defeats the whole purpose of being charitable, doesn't it?

4)"Tell me more about how my dollar can make a difference" - OK, this was never really an option

5)"Mumble, mumble, no" - this was the winner!

I think there was some disgust from my fellow shoppers but we quickly bolted out of the store without looking back.

On the car ride back to work, I was still laughing thinking about "Nah, I'm good" and I'm still not sure if it is really all that funny but damn if it doesn't crack me up. I love those small and unassuming interactions that most people blow off or quickly forget. We can take those moments and overanalyze them for days. I don't know if that makes us keen observers or two guys who need to focus more on the important things in life.

When did the meatball sandwiches end?

Quintessential lunch at Wegmans today.

As Matt and I carefully located our sushi, turkey wraps, sweet potato chips and pear and provolone salads, I noticed a bunch of dudes who walked in with dirty, ripped t-shirts and big ass boots. I watched their entire lunch grabbing spree as they grabbed meatball subs, Fritos and Mountain Dews. As I stood there in my stellar polo shirt and nicely ironed khaki pants, I wondered when it all changed. When did my lunches become so ... sensible and ... healthy ... and non "guy" like? How did Matt and I start eating when we first started going to Wegmans every day for lunch eight years ago? I wouldn't change a thing, but it was a telling moment. Most people eat lunch at their desks or in a cafeteria or on a picnic table and don't give it much thought. Matt and I? We philosophize the entire time, and I friggin love it.

But it gets better.

After downing our lunch and taking the last sips of our Honest Teas, Matt and I gave each other the look. Not that kind of look you heathen ... the look that said "Let's shop". So off we went to the aisle where we spend most of our time, the candy aisle (Sounds creepy, huh? Two 40 year olds cruising the candy aisle).

Matt was reading up on all the exotic chocolate, like this ridiculously priced "bacon bar":            

When he came across another one that he vehemently hated and vowed to never eat again:

Just as he was ripping on all things chipotle and chocolate, a woman came up to him and said "Seriously? That is my absolute favorite!" That led to a ten minute discussion on high end chocolate between the three of us that was as stimulating as any conversation I've had in a long time. And the best part was that we never found it to be odd or uncomfortable. In fact, it was right in our wheelhouse. What have we become?

After the last sea salt and caramel dissertation ended and we said our goodbyes, Matt grabbed his purchase for the day and we headed out. And I swear to you, I am not making this up, this is what he bought:

"Love poem inside"? Bet construction boot guys would approve,eh?

TGAL 

Goodbye Tony Soprano

John here: I still hear the theme music in my head from time to time, "Woke up this morning, got yourself a gun", and wish I could watch Tony Soprano walk down the driveway in his robe to grab the newspaper one last time.

No show has ever pulled me in more than The Sopranos and not only because the backdrop was my beloved New Jersey; the writing and character development was near perfect. Important plot points were never wrapped up in a nice little bow and I found myself hating the characters I loved most of the time. It was messy and that was appropriate. Even the "fade to black" ending makes so much sense now and was a brilliant way to end it all.

So in memory of James Gandolfini, I've asked Matt to interpret three different photos of Tony Soprano as only he can. If I was an obsessive watcher of the show, Matt was obsessive to the 2nd power. He's that guy who has every line from the Pine Barrens episode memorized.

Off we go ...             

Matt here: First let me say that I am crushed that James Gandolfini is no longer with us. He was a tremendous actor who created a memorable character that will go down as one of the best in television history. Rest in Peace Mr. Gandolfini.

Photo #1

This is Tony at his best. Clearly pissed off and annoyed. No, it's not by what is going on at the table, but by something he's still steaming over that happened back at the Bing. Maybe someone ate his Lo-Mein that he had hidden in the fridge that he was thinking about all the way there or maybe it was just as simple as him finding out Vito was seen at a bar wearing a motorcycle outfit dressed like one of the Village People. That would piss me off too.

Photo #2

This is clearly the crew going to have a sit down to discuss who said "Ginny Sacramoni had a 95 lb mole removed from her ass.".  Now that's not nice.

Photo #3

This one reminds me of the softer side of "T"; charming, respectful, family oriented, one who brings his wife furs and jewelry for no reason. This is not the face of a guy who would whack Ralph Cifaretto over a horse or sleep with Svetlana, Gloria Trillo, Irina, Valentina or Charmaine Bucco. Nope, not him.  

Lunch time annoyances

Two recent observations while dining at Wegman's:

1)I want to smack parents who allow their children to drink soda on a regular basis 


Yes, from time to time, my wife and I will allow the kids to drink a soda, but it is only on the rarest of occasions. I've observed these forgivable situations when the child grabs a soda bottle from the shelf, holds it up in front of the parents eyes and begs and pleads to have it. The parent will usually say "no" but once in a while said parent grimaces, exhales and gives in reluctantly. They know they are allowing a pile of crap to enter their child's body and they can't believe they are OK with it.

I can deal with that parent.

The parent that infuriates me is the one who continually allows their child to drink the stuff each and every day as if they never heard about how bad it is or that it is the # 1 reason kids are unhealthy.

And they wonder why their child is an insufferable brat post sugar comedown 

These oblivious parents need a friggin smack. They are the ones who need protection from themselves as Mayor Bloomberg of New York had suggested. You dopes should just pour the sugar bowl down your kids' throats

       
41 grams of sugar? Have you not heard of the internet or Dr. Oz? C'mawn people.

2)I despise parents who push their kids in those car-like shopping carts

  
Wegman's (where Matt and I eat lunch almost daily) is a supermarket with an out of this world "market". So as we grab our lunch each day, we semi-interact with "food shoppers". Most of these shoppers are mom's in expensive workout gear who succumb to their child's wish to ride in these giant mobiles. I'm pretty sure these moms have never uttered the word "no".

As you may imagine, these mack truck like wagons don't take corners very well and even worse, can clog up an aisle as mom looks for her favorite coffee sweetener. They are a nightmare. All so the kid can turn a plastic wheel for a few minutes.

Without fail, the child eventually falls out, knocks over a display and screams bloody murder.

F'n brilliant shopping cart marketers.

       

Two Guys at Lunch return - part XIX

Matt and I haven't written in almost six months. It is equal parts lack of time, laziness and real life getting in the way. But that is neither here nor there (which is a phrase I have despised for decades but I'm placing it here as an inside joke ...  for who, don't really know).

Anyways, I have pretty much mastered the art of over promising and under delivering during my blogging days. But that is not going to happen again. Write it down ... but in pencil.

No more over the top goals of getting in prime physical shape.

No more talk of becoming a vegan (maybe a one week trial?).

No more missions to seek out NJ urban legends and report back.

Nope. We are going to keep it simple. Pinky swear.

We are who we are (which is so much more meaningful than "it is what it is").

And that is two 40 year old men who have families, love bad sports teams, love bad TV shows, talk about working out like we are still 19 years old, read food labels at Wegman's like we are professional nutritionists, get annoyed at things that most people never notice and most importantly, cherish our lunches during the work week.

That is where we shine.

That is where we are smarter than Dr. Oz, funnier than Chris Rock, more knowledgeable about pop culture than the entire staff at Entertainment Weekly and more angry and annoyed than Denis Leary and George Carlin combined.

Let that soak in for a a minute ...

Got it? Good. Now remind yourself to check back in regularly for gosh darn good old fashioned entertainment.


Sincerely,
Two Guys at Lunch

A message delivered in the men's room

Yes I know, it's been more than a month since we last posted. I won't make any promises as to when the next one will be, so enjoy this little ditty from Matt.

Thanks,
John 

Maybe it’s fate or maybe just my life and the crazy things that happen, but I have to share one of the most embarrassing, funny and awkward moments that has ever happened to me. It happened just yesterday. Here’s some background first….

Up until November 2012 I lost a bunch of weight. I ate right, exercised and changed my life for the better. For 9 months I felt great. I had a schedule and followed it like a champ. Nothing was going to stop me. Well, maybe…

Once the holidays rolled around I reverted back to my old ways. Thanksgiving was the trouble maker and the trigger to start eating like I had a month to live. Since then I have put weight back on (the same weight that I worked so hard to take off). Not all of it, but enough for me to start to feel it in my clothes. The transformation of the old Matt was happening.

Well yesterday was a sign from God telling me “Are you gonna wake up or what?”. Yes, God spoke just like that to me. Yesterday I wore pants that I had tailored because I had lost the weight. Mr. Big shot walking into the cleaners “Can you please take the waist in on these pants they are just too big”. What a Loser. Little did I know a few months later I would turn into Fat Elvis (without the hair and looks of course).

Here is where the fun started and God spoke. I walk into the Men’s room (nothing disgusting here so relax). There is a guy sitting in the first stall so I go in the middle one next to him. I always like to be as quiet as possible. I unbutton my pants (they were snug to begin with so I was cautious), all of a sudden the metal slide button that buttons your pants from the inside pops and goes flying. It was like life all of a sudden hit sloooo-motion.

The metal slide button hits the floor and actually makes a loud “Ting” noise. I immediately say to myself “Oh God this did not just happen”. It lands directly under the guys pants sitting in the next stall. Now what? Do I put my hand under the wall and just expect him to hand it to me without saying a word to each other? Awkward! Do I say hey can you pass me my button back? Awkward! Is he cracking up laughing on the other side of the wall? Does he know who I am? Do we see each other leaving bathroom and I have to say “Hey sorry about the button”. Awkward! All I can do is think to get the heck out of there as fast as possible. However, now I have no button. I find inside my pants another button on the waist but it’s a lot farther away then the one that popped. Now my pants will be tighter then before. Damn Thanksgiving started this all. 

Now, I’m in the stall sticking in my stomach to button my pants on a notch that turns my pants into a kids size pants (well maybe not kids but you get the point). I’m now having to pray that this button doesn’t pop also and take someone’s eye out. I make it out of the bathroom not having to see this guy who may have my button somewhere intertwined in his pants or shoe. Ugh the thought and embarrassment. I washed my hands and run for the hills as fast as I can being as cautious as ever not wanting to lose my last button. I got through the day but never said a word to anyone except now. I had to. Was too funny to hold in (not my stomach, but the experience).

There you have it. Stick to your New Years resolution if it has to do with weight loss. You want to lose the weight, not your buttons!!

What "The Walking Dead" has taught me

In my last post, I talked about my plan to get in shape like never before to prove that I can "overcome" turning 40 years old. That is moving along just swimmingly and I will have more deets for you in a soon to be published post.

So in keeping with that "masculine" challenge, I have an update on what I've been watching on the good ol telly.

Forgive me for being late to the party, but I just starting watching "The Walking Dead" about two weeks ago.

Yes, I know about all of the hype with this show when it started two years ago, it just took me some time to finally commit to it. I have never been much of a "zombie" guy, but from what I could gather, this was more of a show about survival in impossible circumstances. That appealed to me.

Well in two weeks, I watched seasons 1 and 2 and caught up to season 3. To say I am obsessed with it is an understatement. The show is consistently unsettling, disgusting, terrifying and beautifully shot; all at the same time. My wife is grossed out by it and my kids vow to never set foot out of the house if they see even one clip of a zombie. Me, I can't get enough carnage.

So after consuming this show like no other show before it, I realize how much it has already impacted me in a number of ways.

They are:

1). I need to be more of a man - It is time to buy a crossbow and maybe a few guns. I've never used a firearm or a bow in my life but maybe I should start training. You never know when the apocalypse will hit and I need to be prepared. Not to mention, I would look damn cool brandishing a crossbow:

               
Let me also add, I need to start cutting the sleeves off of all of my shirts. Ah ... swoon. My new "man crush".

But seriously, it is time for me to man up. Kick ass and take names. I will say yes to the first person who wants to go hunting, or four wheeling or even wants to play paintball. F yeah!  

To prove I'm serious about this manhood thing, I have been growing a beard since I started watching the show (the beard will be photographed and shared with you all real soon).

I now look pretty bad ass and I can tell people fear me just a bit. Nice.

Mr. Intimidation is here to stay.  

2). I need to remind the kids just how good they have it - My kids eat cheeseburgers and pizza without a care in the world, but they could easily be dining on raw possum or berries like the kids on The Walking Dead.

They play their video games and watch TV without once considering all poor Carl has to go through day in and day out. Could they shoot a zombie? Or watch their friends get devoured by zombies? Or shoot their mother on the floor of a prison just after she gave birth? I think not.

Starting this week, I am making them hunt for their own food and will make them build their own shelter in the woods in the backyard. They will have to live there two days a week, regardless of the outside temps.

Better yet, maybe I'll create our own Hunger Games where they'll need to hunt down each other. My money is on my daughter.

And they will thank me when they get older.

3). Critics really do impact the way I watch TV shows.movies - Before I started my run of watching "The Walking Dead", I assumed that critics across the board loved the show. And after finishing seasons 1 and 2, I would have agreed with them.

But before starting season 3, I read reviews of the show for the first time and most buried season 2 as being slow and boring. I didn't even realize that the original producer of the show, Frank Darabont, had been fired at the midway point of the season. The new producer brought on was charged with speeding things up and upping the zombie body count.

I never sensed that the show slowed down and thought season 2 was fantastic, but after reading all of the criticism, I started to look back on it differently. And that really bothered me.

Am I that easily influenced by critics? Am I too simple and missed the show heading in the wrong direction? Do I simply just like watching zombies getting slaughtered?

I like to think I am a somewhat intelligent TV viewer and can see the deeper meaning of a show, but maybe I allow others to put those thoughts in my head. I always assumed that delving deeper into a show by reading input from writers/critics made it a more enjoyable experience, but maybe I was dead wrong. Maybe "critic free" is the way to go.

Or maybe, it is all about HOW you watch a show. Which leads to my next point.

4)Watching a serialized TV show rapid fire, one episode to the next is the way to go - I have never watched a show as rapidly as I did with "The Walking Dead". Typically, I would DVR a show and then watch it on a weekly basis. "Lost" and "The Sopranos" were both perfect example of this.

The build-up to each show was HUGE and almost always lead to overblown and unfair expectations.

Now these two shows almost always delivered each and every week (yes, even The Sopranos finale) but I wish I could go back and watch these shows differently. There is much better pacing when you watch one episode after another where you aren't constantly seeking the "A ha" moment for that week. It definitely plays out more like a movie and for me, that is a much more enjoyable experience.

And now that I am watching "The Walking Dead" on a weekly basis, I have to admit, the shine is off of the package a bit. I shouldn't have caught up so quickly.

Last and "most bizarrely not least", I present a potentially ingenious idea and my last inspiration from the show ...

5). The perfect TV mash-up: "The Walking Dead" meets "Honey Boo Boo" - Stay with me here. And if you actually get this, I friggin love you.

I have been fascinated by TV shows that cross over and mash up with each other ever since The Flintstones met The Jetsons (logic be damned).

When two of my favorite TV worlds collide, it is magic. So here we go:

"The Walking Dead" takes place in Georgia and "Honey Boo Boo" takes place in ...? That's right, Georgia. We've already got the geography equation solved.

So let's say Rick Grimes and group get booted out of the prison they are currently taking residence in and stumble upon an abandoned train. Miraculously, they start her up only to have it crash in let's say McIntyre, GA (home of the Boo Boo's). Conveniently, the train stops right on their front lawn because, for those of you who watch The Boo Boo's, you know the train LITERALLY bumps up against their front door. It is the absolute funniest part of the show and a can't miss.

So "The Walking Dead" gang slowly approach the front door and are about to shoot what they think is a zombie:
.      

Only to realize it is "Mama", so they hold their fire.

The newly formed group unite to create a new "family" and well, I'll need to work further on the script.

Am I on to something here? Did I lose you completely?

I've got two more shows lined up for the winter - "Breaking Bad" and "Sons of Anarchy". I plan on watching them rapid fire style as well, so watch out. I may be soon dealing meth off of the back of my bike while doing preacher curls.

Now that is f'n manly!                  

              

Age will not take me down

"Research suggests that between 40 and 50 years old, a person loses 8 percent or more of their muscle mass."

Uh oh ... it's all over.

I read the quote above on the Men's Health website recently and it really knocked me on my "tookus". Is this the beginning of the end now that I am 40 years old? I can almost feel my muscles slowly deflating as I type this. 

It feels so cliche to be deeply affected by turning 40, but I must admit, it has taken a bit of a toll on me. I have no complaints about my family, my job or my health, but I do feel like a window is slowly closing on me. And I can't really define why that closing window has had such an impact. 

Maybe taking that chance on some entrepreneurial venture is no longer a possibility.

Maybe it is the reality that some of the players on my favorite sports teams could actually be my children.

Or maybe it is the fact that my body has now started the inevitable decline. 

That last one seems to be the one that really hits home. I realize we are talking about minimal decline here, but it is the idea that age 40 is identified as the beginning of the end. It doesn't feel that way but I'll have to side with science here. 

I can't seem to shake this concept of muscle mass loss and I think I'm ready to defy it in a big way. I am a regular weight lifter and runner but not hardcore by any means. I do enough to stay in decent shape and to effectively "check it off the list". It is difficult to find the time to work out with a job, family and kids activities but I make do.

The final inspiration to take 40 and beat the hell out of it came from an unexpected source. He is an actor who is 50 years old and is on my TV each and every night. Can you guess who it is? Actually don't bother, unless you have children between the ages of 6 and 12. He is this guy (on the left):

                          

Eric Allan Kramer on "Good Luck Charlie" (my kids favorite show). Seriously, check out the guns on this guy. This is how he has looked on the latest season of the show and it is damn impressive, considering this is how he looked not too long ago:

Not a lot of muscle loss there, eh?

I made the comment to my son that "Bob Duncan looks phenomenal". He then proceeded to look him up on Wikipedia and said to me (without any indication of busting on me) "He is FIFTY years old". 

That was it. Game f'n on. If he can do it, I can do it (of course I don't have access to the personal trainers and nutritionists that he does, but that is besides the point). 

I started to formulate my plan and tried to come up with an impressive end goal. But I couldn't figure out what that would be. Is it running a marathon? Is it competing in a bodybuilding contest (I kid)? Is it drastically improving my BMI (Body Mass Index for those of you so embarrassingly uninformed)? 

Nope. It is clearly none of those. In fact, I realized it is not about a goal at all. It is all about the process. I want to work hard, eat clean because I still can. I am young enough to still make an impact on this one body I've been granted and that is what I will focus on. 

I'm going to run.

I'm going to do sprints.

I'm going to do circuit training.

I'm going to do yoga.

I'm going to eat more protein.

I'm going to eat less sugar.

I'm going to drink more green tea.

I'm going to mix shit up like never before.

And it isn't about letting it take over my life. I will train smarter, not longer. I will make smart choices along the way and hopefully that will provide great results. But more than anything, I am going to thank my lucky stars that I can still do it all. 

So keep coming back for updates on my successes and failures and how I feel along the way. 

AND ...... I would never leave out my partner in crime, Matt, from this POA. In fact, he will be posting his take on the topic right after me. His take is a bit different and he has some fascinating history to share with you all. But when all is said and done, we are both striving for the same thing ... to defy age and knock it on its ass.

Hope you will all tag along for the ride.

TGAL                      

The Real Housewives of New Jersey - "Where are they now?" Part II

Hopefully by now, you ready our first installment of the RHONJ, "Where are they Now?" the 2015 edition. If not, you can read all about it here. 

For today, here are three additional updates on some of your favorite "characters" from RHONJ. 

Enjoy    

KATHY WAKILE 

• After the debacle that was the reunion show, Kathy put all of her time and energy into her dessert line "Dolci Della Dea" which translated from Italian means "Now it's my turn to make some cash with my recipes due to my new found celebrity". She did real well selling them on QVC ... and outside of Teresa's book signings. 
• After announcing she had created her own cocktail - Red Velvet Cosmo - Teresa went all sorts of nuts accusing her of yet again copying her road map to success. To get her back, Tre made a secret appearance on one of her QVC spots and if you look closely in the background, you can see her pretending to vomit when drinking the cocktail. The stunt proved to make Teresa look bad yet again, so in a moment of desperation, Tre just accused Kathy of being a stripper. After exhaustive research, TMZ discovered that Kathy had actually worked at a strip joint in Paterson back in the 70's, but turns out Kathy didn't actually dance there; she just baked for all of the girls on the weekends.
• As Kathy became more and more popular by the end of 2013, the job opportunities were plentiful and she eventually settled on her own daytime talk show on CBS. "Kathy's Place" was clearly inspired  by the "Rachel Ray Show" as she had on B to C level celebrity guests and then baked for them. It was a moderate hit into 2014 until she not so smartly, set up a RHONJ reunion show and all hell broke lose. Teresa stirred things up yet again by accusing Kathy of stealing her idea to "bake a cake in an oven". Kathy's sister Rosie had seen enough and attacked Tre with a rolling pin on the stage. The show was sued for 10 million dollars and had to be abruptly canceled.
• As of today, Kathy sells her desserts roadside at her husband's Exxon station in Wayne, NJ. She is also working on a tell-all book - "I Baked Like a Champ and Then a Guidette Friggin Ruined It" - where she promises to dish on the Teresa none of us knew prior to the start of RHONJ.                       

RICH WAKILE

• Rich Wakile, fresh off of watching all of his cast mates deal with bankruptcy in season 4, decided to venture into other businesses outside of gas stations and started a clothing line at Men's Wearhouse. The "Richie W" collection featured polo shirts with the collar permanently turned up and sold like mad. Together, he and Kathy were rolling in the dough (pun intended) so they took the opportunity to also move away from the Giudices. They bought a house in Westchester, NY where they hoped to spread their "Jerseyness" across the Hudson. 
• Well, just like his fellow RHONJ'ers, Rich made some questionable moves soon after the polo shirt explosion that started things rolling down the wrong path. First, he invested heavily in a discotheque in Long Branch, NJ that went terribly wrong from the outset. He had Melissa Gorga perform opening night and while she performed admirably, a brawl broke out right after she performed her new single "No, now I'm totally on display". Turns out Kim D and Kim G had invited some shady rival salon greeters who took the opportunity to settle their differences on the dance floor. Needless to say, the club never recovered.
• Rich then ventured into the restaurant business and opened what was supposed to be a Lebanese restaurant in Weehawken, NJ. Turns out, all of the food was actually Italian as Rich yet again, forgot that he actually is not of Italian descent. The restaurant closed within four months. As we all know, NJ doesn't need another Italian restaurant.
• By early 2014, just as Kathy's talk show was crumbling and things looked bleak, Rich went back to what got them wealthy in the first place - gas stations. He bought up a few back in Bergen County and forced his son into the business. As of today, business is thriving yet again and he's hoping Kathy can get back on her feet selling her desserts to those waiting on their gas to be pumped. Rich also opened a new restaurant with his fellow male cast mates that is looking promising as of the day of this story.                                

CHRIS LAURITA

• Chris went into a depression after the taping of the reunion and vowed to bring his family back together. He arranged one of those survival, out in the wilderness bonding weekends with both his sister Dina and his sister Caroline. The experience was taped as part of a Bravo special "The Three Lauritas". The experience not only brought them all closer together, but launched the idea for the three siblings to travel the country and attempt to bring families closer together using the same method they used. 
• With the success of the Laurita siblings new venture, Chris immediately dropped out of the BLK Water enterprise. He handed the reigns over to his step daughter Ashley who had made serious strides both personally and professionally while in Cali. In an unfortunate incident, Chris was captured on video laughing while talking to Joe Giudice and yelling "Who the f wants to drink black water any way. Shit looks nasty. Good luck Manzo boys dealing with Ashley now." 
• With the success of the family survival business, Chris was able to turn that into a partnership with Tony Robbins and began traveling the country giving inspirational speeches and offering up advice to small businesses and self-starters. He even had his teeth professionally whitened to keep up with Tony  and through the magic of P90X, got himself into the best shape of his life.
• Like we see so many times, the personal success Chris achieved had an adverse affect on his family life. By the time 2014 rolled around, he had seen so little of his wife Jacqueline while traveling non stop and they drifted further and further apart. In desperate need of attention, Jacqueline turned to Albie Manzo and they secretly had a steamy affair until Caroline found them in a compromising position on a couch in the back of The Brownstone. The chaos that ensued was the perfect set-up for the season finale of season 6 and it tore apart the Lauritas yet again. Chris now lives with Joe Giudice in an apartment in Red Bank and they opened a restaurant with Joe Gorga and Rich Wakile that is still thriving as of today.                           

Shopping cart etiquette

I'm annoyed again and here's why. 

Wegmans is heaven on earth and if you've read this blog, you knew that already. The lunch options exceed anything I've ever seen and each day is a new meal time adventure. It's like Disney World for lunching adults.  

You want Asian food? Check

You want Indian food? Check

You want old school subs (if you call it a hoagie please leave now)? Check

You want a crab cake sandwich? Check

You feeling me dawg? (I know, 2005 called and they want their reference back)

And it's not only the food choices that make it so off the charts awesome, but how the stations/displays are laid out to perfection. You can tell a lot of thought went into where you get a fork, or where you find the blue cheese for the wings or where you get the rice as the base for the Asian Wokery selections. 

Which brings me to today and a major violation Matt and I witnessed while scarfing down our lunch and enjoying the crowds shopping for their lunch below. 

Right in the middle of the Wegmans market, there are rows of ethnic food/salads where you can happily pile heaps of deliciousness into a container for later consumption. I may have Sesame Chicken and Lasagna and Thai spring rolls all lumped together in one container. A party like no other. 

While one mulls over their options and fills their container, there are a few simple rules to follow so everyone has the same enjoyable lunch experience. Pretty easy stuff if you ask me.

Number 1 on that list is to NOT do what you see in the photo below:               

Never, ever, under any circumstances, can you bring your cart into the buffet area. It immediately clogs up the aisle between the various food sections. It is so much fun to bounce from the "Asian Wokery" to the "Fresh Foods" section without fear of tripping over a cart. Are you that self absorbed that you don't realize what chaos you are bringing to the situation? Do you do the same thing at Home Depot while searching for caulk? Do you also slow down on a highway when searching for your exit ignoring the danger you are causing behind you? Are you that person that elbows my kids while looking for the rare Lego sets at Toys R Us?

The answers are yes, yes, yes and yes.      

**Side note - the individuals included in the photo below are not guilty of any shopping cart indiscretions. They are merely victims of a selfish act committed by a heathen I was never able to identify.

There are other rules that I will divulge in a future post, but for now, I would like to present you with the solution for handling a shopping cart properly. Simply follow the "rules of the mailman" (still the best job I ever had, albeit for one summer only). This normally applies to food shopping at holiday time, but can be applied to this situation as well.

Let me explain.

When approaching a crowded area in a supermarket, simply find an area off the beaten path (like near the smoked fish display), park your cart there, determine all that you need within the circumference of the affected area, walk cart-less to said area, pick up all of the items by hand and return to your cart.

This is the same method a mailman follows when he parks strategically on the street corner, grabs the necessary mail, walks the length of the street down one side and returns back on the other side of the street. Real simple stuff.

So next time you see a cart resting in a crowded area in the supermarket, feel free to push it away knowing how much you are benefiting the rest of us.

Thank you.


TGAL