Random photo interpretation time

John here:

Matt and I are excellent at over analyzing things that probably never asked to be analyzed in the first place. It is a talent that we are both proud of and one we challenge each other on all the time. 

Case in point. 

For today's post, we each agreed to post a random photo found on the internet for the other to analyze. What appears to be a pair of completely harmless photos actually has so much more to offer upon further inspection. 

We didn't take this exercise lightly so we hope you'll do the same when reading our results. Really allow yourself to get lost in the photos and analyze along with us. You'll feel better about yourself after doing so ... I promise.

So first up, here is the photo I presented to Matt:       

And here is his beautiful interpretation:

Matt here:

Wow, what a pic. Says a lot.

Couple on the left:
Young married couple, definitely from Hoboken, NJ. To me, anyone who gets married young, has a lot of friends, likes to go out to eat and almost look like each other (these two do), they want to live in Hoboken (it's the cool thing to do). They've been together since high school, had the big wedding and bridal party and went to see the last Chris Daughtry concert. They live a conservative life. This sounds like an old Billy Joel song.

She goes for the plain slick back hair (nothing fancy), no elaborate jewelry or clothes. She's got her masters degree in Business Administration and just loves her job. Woo Hoo! Exciting! Talks to her family 50 times a day.

He has just enough hair gel so every hair is in place. He's got the sides a little short and the top perfectly trimmed to perfection. He's probably had this dew since they met. Nothing extreme right down to the plain dark sweater. I wish I could tell him to please trim those eye brows. This guy is gonna need a weed whacker to trim those babies. He works for Fed Ex and iron's his uniform every night before bed.

Couple on the right:
Could not be more of a mismatch. She is an accountant and he hasn't worked a real job his entire life. These two live in the "Sticks". Somewhere out in "no mans land" where you have to drive about 40 minutes to get milk and bread.

She is boring. Works for accounting firm and brings her lunch everyday except Fridays when the office orders out for lunch. Yeah, riveting. Doesn't get excited about anything but maybe Thursday nights when the Big Bang Theory is on.

He talks with some kind of accent but I can't really tell from where it's coming from. Can you? I just know it's annoying. First, not a muscle to be found on this guy. Drinks Tea and hates coffee. Knows every REM and Beatles song every made. Favorite album is Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and favorite movie is "Clerks" or "Rocky Horror Picture Show". Can definitely change his own oil and only wears sandals.  They met on the train.

And for you John.....

John here:

Nice choice Matt.

The wheels are turning. Love this guy already.

Alright, here's the goods on this guy (resume style):

• Name - Anthony
• Age - 33
• Born - Belleville, NJ
• Lives - Belmar, NJ
• Occupation - Construction but is real close to opening a gym with his buddy who "knows a guy" that will financially back them
• Favorite baseball team - The Yankees, but couldn't tell you who took over for Mariano Rivera as closer
• Favorite football team - The NY Giants and gets all his news on the team from the New York Post
• Favorite food - Will only eat Italian so it has to be the stuffed shells
• Favorite TV show - Orange County Choppers and Ink Master
• Favorite movie of all time - Tie between The Godfather and Scarface
• Favorite pastime - Working out
• Favorite tattoo - The Chinese proverb between his shoulder blades that means ... umm ... he doesn't really know what it means but it impresses the chicks at Jenkinson's.      
• Religious beliefs - Catholic and thinks by wearing a cross around his neck he can do whatever he wants
• Who he will be voting for in November - Not registered to vote but if he could, it would be Romney because Obama isn't even American
• Marital status - has had the same girlfriend for over 5 years but there are no talks of getting engaged. He needs to work on his business (the gym) before he can even think of it.
• Girlfriend name - Kristina with a "K"
• Favorite catch phrase - "Working hard, playing hard."
• Dirty secret - Once posed for a men's magazine in a seedy NYC apartment and only made $100.
• Obvious secret - There isn't a hair to be found under that bandanna
• Greatest accomplishment - He and his buddy did shots of jager with Pauly D at Karma
• Greatest accomplishment #2 - Put up 225 ten times at Gold's Gym in Jersey City
• Greatest accomplishment #3 - His cousin Sal helped build the deck on Jon Bon Jovi's beach house a few years ago 

And there you have it.

You can thank us later for the enlightenment. Or maybe try doing one yourself and let us critique it.

TGAL