Christmas thoughts

Matt and I are both off from work this entire week so no fascinating "lunch at Wegman's" stories for you today.

I'm writing this while lounging in the same clothes I wore the past two days and it is all sorts of awesome. I am redefining the definition of lazy and I am proud to announce that my kids are doing nothing but playing video games and watching SpongeBob. They have that blank look on their face and I can actually see brain cells exiting through their ears.

Christmas vacation at it's finest.


Speaking of "Christmas Vacation", my wife and I introduced the kids to the wonderful world of Clark Griswold and family. As expected, they laughed at Uncle Eddie and I think they understood the humor, but I wasn't prepared for the scene with the woman at the mall:

     
When Clark said "Can it get any 'hooter' in here?" I saw my daughter confused but clearly aware of what was going on and my son stared straight ahead, afraid to look at me. Shit, we're going to have to have that talk soon aren't we? Can I just send him a Powerpoint presentation? Welcome to Awkward Town John.

Some other Christmas thoughts I need to clear from my brain:

• There is nothing more disgusting than the thick goo known as Egg Nog. I'd rather drink pancake batter or a bottle of mustard.
• Contrary to what Matt might say, there is no better Christmas song than Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas". 
• All recording artists must promise to not record another Christmas song. Besides Mariah, nothing good has been released since the 80's.
• I couldn't be more thrilled to see that my son is also in love with The Muppets. We've been listening to the soundtrack to the movie and it brings me back to a magical time when Phyllis Diller and John Denver hosted the show.

One last thing - my son is just about on to the Santa charade but my wife and I managed to squeeze another year out of it. We played sleigh bells in his ear while sleeping on Christmas Eve and when he woke up the next morning, he insisted he saw reindeer on the front lawn. Yes!

However, I had to push it further the next day and showed him this picture I doctored:         

I pretended I received an anonymous email with this picture attached. I put on my best shocked face and called the kids over. My son looked at it and laughed uncontrollably. He knew it was fake immediately and could tell our dog was staring right at the camera man (me). I laughed it off and we went about our day. Looking back now, bad job by me.

Hope you had a great holiday and will report to you live from Wegman's soon!


John