The Friday routine

Lunch on a Friday is very different from the rest of the week. 

Matt works from home so I am solo in the office. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to continue the routine, hell no. I still make my way to Wegman's rain or shine; I just eat lunch in my car. I also endure jabs at work like "Your boyfriend's not here, you miss him?" or "Are you lost without your better half?". Jealous bastards, you wish you could be in the inner circle, even if it is only a group of two.  

I'm about six foot four and drive a tiny Honda Civic. It is comical to watch me pull into a parking lot and get out of the car. I know that but don't care; I don't owe anything on the car so take that bitches. It is also comical to watch me eat in my car at lunch. I'm huddled over while I eat and have to operate with alligator arms in order to pull it off. 

Today's menu consisted of the following:

As I've mentioned previously, the lunch decisions are not taken lightly. We hold our lunch as sacred and never are the choices made on a whim. NEVER. Today's choices:

• 3 buffalo wings - this is the first stop each day. If there is visible sauce dripping on the wings I'm in. I either go with 3 or 5 (fascinated with odd numbers) depending on the entree chosen. 3 if entree is more substantial or 5 if the wings take center stage. 
• Cajun Kettle Salad - if I manage to exercise that morning, I usually lean salad because I'm motivated to eat leaner. That was the case today. If I make myself believe I am a bodybuilder in training, I add extra chicken for the protein. However, if the salad is matched with wings, I don't add the extra chicken. No extra chicken today.
• Flavored water - the beverage choice may be the most painful. I wish I was that guy who just grabbed a Pepsi every day without giving it any thought. Life would be easier. Most often, I'll grab a Diet Wegman's cola because it is always colder than Coke or Pepsi - I'm not kidding. If I'm healthy guy like today, I lean iced tea w/o any sugar. No good tea options today so went with the flavored water. Quick gripe - Why the f do the nutrition labels on drinks list them as two servings? You can't fool me a-holes, I know it looks better when a drink is listed with 20 grams of sugar but I'm smart enough to multiple by two. 

As I awkwardly eat my lunch, I listen to sports talk radio or Howard Stern. I find it physically impossible to listen to music while eating. The two sensations just seem to collide and cancel each other out. Further proof I'm incapable of multi-tasking.

Once lunch was done I was off to Toys R Us to pick up a birthday gift for my daughter's friend. I'm amazingly comfortable picking out Barbie dolls and in fact, I made sure to pick the least slutty option:

                               

She looks respectable, right? 

That's it for today. Look for Matt's initial post within the next few days.

Have a great weekend.

John